Although narcissistic behavior is toxic, it can teach us about unhealed parts of ourselves. We can learn how to choose to react differently to other people’s negative behavior. We can learn to have more compassion for others while setting healthy boundaries. It can be a humbling experience in the long run. It can teach us to love ourselves more than we ever have before. We can learn how to take our own power back if we have been allowing others to make decisions for ourselves. First we must learn what narcissism is.
Where did narcissism originate? The word narcissism came from Greek mythology where a young handsome fellow named Narcissus had fallen in love with his own image from his reflection in a pool of water. Not all narcissists love themselves like Narcissus did. In fact, most do not care about themselves at all which is why they seek out someone to love them more than they can love themselves. They fill a void with false beliefs, with what they feel is missing deluding themselves into believing their core issues do not exist. They just simply cannot love themselves in a healthy balanced way. Empaths are usually sought after because narcissists know that empaths are full of love and give a lot of compassion more than most people. A perfect nightmare is made...
It is all an illusion...the “love” they show is to entrap people, and to engage a pattern of emotional, psychological, and sometimes physical abuse. All this does is feed the ego of the narcissist and keeps the narcissistic supply going.
Narcissistic supply is feeding off of the energies of other people, especially their partner. If the victim begins to diminish that supply by minimizing their response to the abuse, the narcissist may “move on” to another victim. Some, however, have mastered a way to keep finding ways of fueling the supply by provoking arguments and special twists called gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation in which the narcissist uses tactics (with denial of doing so) to make the victim doubt their own reality and cause them to feel crazy. Over time, this causes the victim to lose hope in themselves, lowering self esteem and self worth, keeping the victim in their “little box”. If the victim begins to open up about the situation that they are in with others, including family and friends, it causes the narcissist to feel weak so they will find ways of secluding their victim from everyone they can by telling lies and using manipulation against the victim. They will use anything against the victim from past events or experiences that the victim has shared with the narcissist. This gets the people to believe the narcissist over the victim, which is continuing the abuse on a larger scale.
Narcissism is experienced in many different kinds of relationships, not just within romantic ones. It can be found in the work environment and also in a parent-child relationship, which causes the child to grow up learning narcissistic behavior which carries along into adulthood repeating the patterns of abuse. Their needs were not met growing up, they hold on to what they learned and how they coped with not meeting these needs, i.e. unhealed coping mechanisms. The question is “Can it change?” The answer is yes, but only if the individual is willing and committed fully to the desire of wanting to change their abusive behavior. Hurt people hurt people. Loving people love people.
If you feel that you are in a relationship with a narcissist or someone who is abusive, please know and remember that there is help so reach out to someone or a few people that will help you get out of your situation. You first need to be willing to change also. Sometimes when we are stuck in an abusive relationship we do not even know how to be, how to cope without the abuse. It is scary but I promise you, you will heal and you will be finally free and happy.
The Domestic Violence Hotline: https://www.thehotline.org 1(800)-799-7233
CrisisTextLine.org Text HOME to 741741 in US
Canada http://crisistextline.ca/ for Canada Text 686868
OR you chat from the crisis text line Facebook page via messenger.
There are also many support groups on Facebook. The groups’ privacy policies do not allow me to share on here unfortunately.
I do personal one on one consultations for anyone in need of a personal coach. If you would like a FREE first-time consultation please email me at email@example.com. You can also reach out to me on Facebook page @SoulJourneyAwakening.