Most of us believe that happiness comes from having material things. We also believe that happiness can come from being around others and often time we forget that we can bring happiness within ourselves. When we forget, happiness leaves us. Unlearned lessons of the past will arise, and when we focus on just the negative we tend to miss the positive growth and awareness that comes when we face certain repeated behavior patterns. Sometimes when negative feelings arise and we choose to react to those negative vibes and believe it to be a truth it throws us through loops of repetitive behaviors that hold us back. The ego creates drama and remembers how the last experiences were experienced and take them on as truths and it carries on until we become aware of it repeating. Until this awareness is made we can miss how to truly live a fulfilled life. If we are always reacting to the same particular limiting behaviors then there is no growth. When we don’t grow we are not really living to the fullest.
The ego is tricky. It’s there for a purpose, for an example, to be used to pay attention to not fall off a cliff. This seems to most of us to be a common sense concept but if we didn’t have an ego we would not live long. The ego tends to develop on the information that we have gathered over time and is determined to be common sense. It IS for safety, survival and creativity ONLY. Survival of course can also be exaggerated and used as a justification for a fear. Fears come from ego. Fear is an illusion. Everything that has been programmed into us individually from what we have learned growing up to believe to be complete truths are not necessarily truths. These “truths” can end up making any situation bigger than it appears. When we feel hurt, angry, frustrated, jealousy, insecurities etc (all fed by ego), it means we need to pay attention to the clues to end the loop cycle that slows us down in life. If a thought causes us to feel negative we can choose how to react from the thought. If we process the thought with wisdom and not negative emotions we begin to see where we can alter our own responses to any situation. This takes so much practice because we have all be programmed to “behave a certain way” and have even taught ourselves defense and coping mechanisms to handle certain experiences. We are not here to hold ourselves back with such a limiting mind-frame. Oftentimes we go to different levels to feed egos only to repel against their true selves.
There’s a healthy and an unhealthy version of ego.
Limited beliefs and the unhealthy ego in my opinion, personally is how we experience hell on earth. Sometimes when we feel like we are in hell,(as we often say) it’s actually the ego not liking the present moment. The ego is always in a hurry, and loving conditionally while our true spirit is pure patience and unconditional love. When we do not allow room for patience, ego will open the door in any given split second. It’s so quick that you believe the moment to be a problem, for example. When it is truly not a problem, just our thoughts from ego alone can create a problem just by its reactions to the thoughts. Our thoughts can teach us lessons if we practice being aware of how ego sneaks in. In our actions from our thoughts, especially repeated ones creating those endless loops, we can choose to change it completely.
It’s time to make a decision in letting go of the loops because sometimes they are addicting. Our own thoughts can become so habitual that changing our perception of the outside can be limiting, therefore close connections can be challenging.
You cannot remove ego completely because it is a part of the human experience. Ego is a part of our personality but it doesn’t not need to be part of our behaviors. Our behaviors can be altered for quality use by creating inspirations from ego. It is up to the individual themselves to determine what is unhealthy and healthy forms of ego. Most of us think and react based on unhealthy thoughts that limit us from growth and living a happier life experience. We each can experience a genuine happy life.
Although narcissistic behavior is toxic, it can teach us about unhealed parts of ourselves. We can learn how to choose to react differently to other people’s negative behavior. We can learn to have more compassion for others while setting healthy boundaries. It can be a humbling experience in the long run. It can teach us to love ourselves more than we ever have before. We can learn how to take our own power back if we have been allowing others to make decisions for ourselves. First we must learn what narcissism is.
Where did narcissism originate? The word narcissism came from Greek mythology where a young handsome fellow named Narcissus had fallen in love with his own image from his reflection in a pool of water. Not all narcissists love themselves like Narcissus did. In fact, most do not care about themselves at all which is why they seek out someone to love them more than they can love themselves. They fill a void with false beliefs, with what they feel is missing deluding themselves into believing their core issues do not exist. They just simply cannot love themselves in a healthy balanced way. Empaths are usually sought after because narcissists know that empaths are full of love and give a lot of compassion more than most people. A perfect nightmare is made...
It is all an illusion...the “love” they show is to entrap people, and to engage a pattern of emotional, psychological, and sometimes physical abuse. All this does is feed the ego of the narcissist and keeps the narcissistic supply going.
Narcissistic supply is feeding off of the energies of other people, especially their partner. If the victim begins to diminish that supply by minimizing their response to the abuse, the narcissist may “move on” to another victim. Some, however, have mastered a way to keep finding ways of fueling the supply by provoking arguments and special twists called gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation in which the narcissist uses tactics (with denial of doing so) to make the victim doubt their own reality and cause them to feel crazy. Over time, this causes the victim to lose hope in themselves, lowering self esteem and self worth, keeping the victim in their “little box”. If the victim begins to open up about the situation that they are in with others, including family and friends, it causes the narcissist to feel weak so they will find ways of secluding their victim from everyone they can by telling lies and using manipulation against the victim. They will use anything against the victim from past events or experiences that the victim has shared with the narcissist. This gets the people to believe the narcissist over the victim, which is continuing the abuse on a larger scale.
Narcissism is experienced in many different kinds of relationships, not just within romantic ones. It can be found in the work environment and also in a parent-child relationship, which causes the child to grow up learning narcissistic behavior which carries along into adulthood repeating the patterns of abuse. Their needs were not met growing up, they hold on to what they learned and how they coped with not meeting these needs, i.e. unhealed coping mechanisms. The question is “Can it change?” The answer is yes, but only if the individual is willing and committed fully to the desire of wanting to change their abusive behavior. Hurt people hurt people. Loving people love people.
If you feel that you are in a relationship with a narcissist or someone who is abusive, please know and remember that there is help so reach out to someone or a few people that will help you get out of your situation. You first need to be willing to change also. Sometimes when we are stuck in an abusive relationship we do not even know how to be, how to cope without the abuse. It is scary but I promise you, you will heal and you will be finally free and happy.
The Domestic Violence Hotline: https://www.thehotline.org 1(800)-799-7233
CrisisTextLine.org Text HOME to 741741 in US
Canada http://crisistextline.ca/ for Canada Text 686868
OR you chat from the crisis text line Facebook page via messenger.
There are also many support groups on Facebook. The groups’ privacy policies do not allow me to share on here unfortunately.
I do personal one on one consultations for anyone in need of a personal coach. If you would like a FREE first-time consultation please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. You can also reach out to me on Facebook page @SoulJourneyAwakening.
Everyone experiences rough days. There are ways to help smooth out these stressful experiences if we practice building healthy positive habits consistently.
Here are top three ways to overcome a rough day:
I hope these three tips help you to overcome any stress that you may be experiencing in your life. If you have seen results from your own tips, please share them in the comment section below.
Peace, Love, & Light
Limiting beliefs are any beliefs that we have about anything that limits us from becoming our fullest potential. Most people think of religion when they hear the word belief. There are so much more in depth hidden beliefs that we have stored in our programmable minds since we were born. Many of these beliefs have been developed in many ways, from our parents, family, teachers, friends, and society. Through experiences, we all have developed so many beliefs that keeps us from experiencing ultimate fulfillment in our lives. There are many limiting beliefs but I will cover one common belief that all of us face during our lifetime that come up within relationships.
What feelings came within that particular experience? Did any fears, anger, frustration or depressed feelings arise?
We need to remember during any time feelings of blame arise, we are simply not taking a look within ourselves as to why we feel the need to blame. Behind that is where we begin to dig deeper to see why we are feeling the need to give ourselves a hard time or another person, to see what exactly triggered the result of wanting to blame.
If you need assistance with a situation please reach out to me.